Ashamed and afraid

I’m helpless. I see no respite.
I plead guilty. I crave forgiveness.
I’m a million. Maybe a billion.
I shiver. My fingers quiver.
I hold back thousand drops of salt water.
And then I goad myself.
And admit it.

I’m ashamed of you.
I’m ashamed of me.
I’m ashamed of us.

I’m afraid of you.
I’m afraid of me.
I’m afraid of us.

Varun Rajagopalan.