Category: Random Ramblings




Rest in peace, Joe.

Thank you.


A bag

A bag

I’m a bag full of humour, sorrow, pain, joy, poor jokes, love, care, attitude, talent, skill, anger, romance, horniness, humility, pride, self-sufficience, knowledge, dumbness, numbness, grief, happiness, responsibility, one-ness, punctuality, wonder, concern, worry, irresponsibility, lust, hope, hopelessness, selfishness, agility, selflessness, laziness, brightness, fun, darkness, creativity, boredom, cluelessness, correct spellings, wrong spellings, correct terms, wrong terms, correct tense, wrong tense, relevance, stupidity, irrelevance, cockiness, groupism, dynamism, loneliness, intelligence, time wasting, smartness, time saving, distance, closeness, idealistic, hunger, open, locked in tight, sobriety, alcoholism, colour, gloom, doom, boom, abrasiveness, aggression, ruthlessness, humanity and what not.

Varun Rajagopalan.

Writing and rewriting

Writing and rewriting

And so I sit down here. Writing and rewriting. Scrapping paragraphs (yes! It hurts to scrap entire paragraphs of what you’ve written, but you have to) altogether.

And then I write these few lines – exactly as they unravel from within.

No clue why. No reason why.

I guess I’m shy. To openly cry.

Dammit! Why be poetic when you’re not writing a poem?

Let me know when you come to know.

Varun Rajagopalan.

A single thought

A single thought

It’s a thought that breaks into so many tiny actions. Just one single thought and the number of things it can trigger off.

A single thought that for someone who hates talking on the phone too long, how is it that when it comes to someone special, you can talk (interesting stuff and all!) for 8, 8, 12, 8, 12… hours and so on.

A single thought that triggers a barrage of mails from potential employers – a thought that went behind updating that resume of yours.

A single thought that draws cheers or flak, depending on how well thought it is, from the boss.

A single thought that no matter how stupid it is, will always draw a look of pride and appreciation, from your mother.

A single thought that no matter what happens, you will always be your best pal and worst enemy, that triggers the death defying to the life inducing.

A single thought that leads one to write a whole post, based on nothingness, emptiness and solitude. Mental – all of it.

A single thought is what’s going in my head right now.

A single thought. Wish I could think more. Maybe I could – I would, if I were drunk enough.

Varun Rajagopalan.

Curtains open / curtains close

Curtains open:

Me: “Slash! Slash! The knives went and hurt me more. I didn’t scream. I didn’t scram. I tolerated. I grit. I cried. And then, I died. I truly died.”

A few members from the crowd clap a couple of times.

Without caring, I continue, “Blood. Scab. Itch. Fear. Despair. All I feel in my lair.”

Thunderous applause.

I know I’ve got their attention. But I choose to end it there. “Thank you all for coming.”

Curtains close.

Somebody good then left the building. And it wasn’t Elvis for sure.

Varun Rajagopalan.

Random ramblings: Decisions

You know (weird that I’m starting a post with those words – I normally don’t), what’s weird (uh oh, there’s that word again)? How we make decisions and then falter to follow them. And I’m not talking about them smoking and drinking. Those are way more superficial. You cannot ‘forget’ that you’ve decided not to drink or smoke.

What you do forget – sometimes out of convenience and sometimes you just forget – are things like I will be rude, or I will nicer, or I will be indifferent, or I will be good, or bad, or play dumb, or be monosyllabic, or be verbose, or talk less, or more, or dammit not talk at all. Sounds familar? How many time have we made up our minds to do all of the above (very official eh!?)? And how many times we just fail to remember them.

This time I’ve had it! Enough is bloody enough and its time for a bloody freaking change (in a mood to cuss, are we!?). This time I decide that all my decisions are meant to be followed. And that’s the best decision I’ve made… ever.

Varun Rajagopalan.


And so I do it again. And I know it’ll happen again. And again. And… oh yeah! Again. Man, I’ve used that word so many times. Reminds me a bit (just a bit though) of the song “Again” by Lenny Kravitz.

“All of my life, where have you been?
I wonder if I’ll ever see you again.”

Isn’t that sweet?! As my good friends would say, “a state of misery that we actually choose for ourselves!” Don’t know why, but I’m also reminded of the soliloquy by Stone Sour, in which he says it’s like you can smell the food, but can’t touch the silverware. Fascism we can vote for!

Varun Rajagopalan.

What we’ve become

We were never meant to be this great race who could have technological slaves catering to every need right? We were meant to dwell in caves and eat raw meat and wear dry skin and not Armani and Gucci! Or were we? Let’s leave that for another time.

My phone

I won’t check my phone.
Should I even bother looking at my phone?
No. I won’t. I won’t check my phone.
What the… ? Why should I?
Ok, I gotta go.
Need to go check my phone.

Varun Rajagopalan.



No! I won’t!
I refuse to.
Why should I?
I hear you. But…
Ok. Here’s the deal.
I don’t understand.
I won’t understand.
But I will pretend.

For you. Ok?

Varun Rajagopalan.