18
Nov
09

Story: They will all die

Story: They will all die. Episode 1.

He was dressed in formals. A white shirt with grey stripes. A steel grey pant, non-pleated. Black shoes that appeared to have been polished the day before and dust and sand made them look almost grey.

He had walked for about half an hour and was sweaty and tired. It was pretty late at night. He opened his door trying not to make too much noise. Walked straight into his bedroom. A woman was asleep on the bed.

He cuddled up next to her and began breathing into her ears. She smiled. Her eyes were closed. Turned her neck sideways.

They made love.

She adjusted her hair. He took a large pillow and brought it on her face. She struggled for a bit and then stopped moving.

He went into the bathroom and stared at himself for a few seconds, then tugged at his face. He cried.

Sobbing, he walked back into the room. She lay still. He caressed her back, then her hair. He walked over to a cupboard. Opened it and reached his hand somewhere inside.

He pulled out a Browning 9×19mm Hi-Power hand-gun. The silvery grey body shone despite it being dark.

He held it to his head and stared into nothingness. He was breathing fast.

Continued…

10
Nov
09

I empathise

empathise

I empathise

I empathise with my friends.
For what they have gone through.
I empathise with my enemies.
For no matter what, they cannot win.
I empathise with my family.
For I wish I could provide the way I dream.

I empathise with those who hurt me.
For I can take it.
I empathise with those who I’ve hurt.
Must have hurt bad, huh?

I empathise with those I speak to.
For there’s a lot their ears have to listen to.
I empathise with those I don’t speak to.
For there’s a lot they would love to know.

I empathise with the world.
For it’s in this irreversible self-destruct mode.
I empathise with God.
It’s a huge mantle that he wears.
I empathise with the Devil.
Must hurt to always be runners up.

I empathise with those I’ve loved.
For they don’t know what they lost.
I empathise with those who loved me.
For I realise what I’m losing.
I empathise with myself.
For I’m beyond feeling pitiful.

I empathise with you.
Whoever you are.

Varun Rajagopalan.

28
Oct
09

Sometimes I feel like I’m Kurt

kurt

Sometimes I feel like I’m Kurt

I was drenched.
There was warmth.
It lead to heat.
Faster heart beat.

It seemed I didn’t want it to end.
But I wanted it to end.
As badly as I didn’t want it to.
Twisted and funny? Yeah go figure!

It’s an uneven departure.
When you realise.
That you’re living among real-lies.
Cat and Mice. Vice? Nice.

And I snapped out of it.
Myself? Or was I rudely awakened?
I wouldn’t know.
Or maybe I don’t want to.

Maybe you will. Maybe you won’t.
If you wish to explain, please don’t.
We’re hurt. We’re curt.
Damn! Sometimes I feel like I’m Kurt.

Varun Rajagopalan.

22
Oct
09

Serpent

serpent

Serpent

I stumbled the other day.
But I didn’t fall.
But I wanted to.
And… I still want to.

I stumbled again today.
And made somebody’s day.
I can fall. It’s my call.
You are now, you all.

You’re still cared for.
Your way is distant.
You’re still loved.
And how you repent.

I see myself as a merciless serpent.

Varun Rajagopalan.

19
Oct
09

Ruthless I am

ruthless

Ruthless I am

I strained my jaws again last night.
Talking to the walls; befriending them.
I asked and responded for both of us.
Spewed planned phlegm.

We’ve drifted apart; yes I see.
I have to protect, you from me.
I’m not dangerous, but I dwell in yesterday.
And might end up making you stay.

Walk away beautiful goddess.
End the trance.
My story will remain,
a deathly dance.

Weep, as I do.
For…
Ruthless I seem.
Ruthless I am.

Varun Rajagopalan.

05
Oct
09

Ashamed and afraid

prison

Ashamed and afraid

I’m helpless. I see no respite.
I plead guilty. I crave forgiveness.
I’m a million. Maybe a billion.
I shiver. My fingers quiver.
I hold back thousand drops of salt water.
And then I goad myself.
And admit it.

I’m ashamed of you.
I’m ashamed of me.
I’m ashamed of us.

I’m afraid of you.
I’m afraid of me.
I’m afraid of us.

Varun Rajagopalan.

01
Oct
09

Rain

cry

Rain

Someone joked.
They smirked.
Someone danced.
They guffawed.
Someone spoke.
This time they joked.

Someone tries.
And someone dies.
Nobody cries;
for stars in the sky.

Someone wept;
in the rain.
Rain disguises tears;
rain disguises pain.

Varun Rajagopalan.

28
Sep
09

It’ll be dusk soon

dusk

It’ll be dusk soon

The light dimmed.
Water dried up.
Aroma eroded.
The glow faded.
And red grew maroon.
And then brown.
And then grey.

It’ll be dust soon.

The sun is out.

It’ll be dusk soon.

Varun Rajagopalan.

26
Sep
09

Harbringer

Harbringer

Harbringer

When I was asleep.
It was so much better.
When I was stone cold.
I enjoyed the weather.

Now I trust no one.
My zone has closer boundaries.
I let no one near.
Pent up anger leads to vagaries.

I lived in a rut, but dared to crawl.
I’m hurt. Yes! You ‘know-it-all”.
I pretend to know a six-stringer.
I always pocket a negative harbinger.

Varun Rajagopalan.

13
Sep
09

Tick tock!

clock

Tick tock!

Tick tock! Tick tock!
It beats within.
Ring-ting! Ring-ting!
It sings within.

It serves the purpose,
of a pacemaker.
It makes me feel,
something’s live within.

A replacement.
A gadget.
Keeping me alive.
An offline widget.

I threw away that lump of meat.
Threw it away for Dogs to eat.
I found myself a clock, or something.
And placed it somewhere deep within.

Varun Rajagopalan.